I just want to hug him

Found this in my daily search for gigs:

I (a 76 year-old geezer on his last legs) need a person whose education is based in journalism (with strong emphasis on correct grammar and proper sentence construction) to review, correct, edit, suggest changes and generally assist in preparing a large number of short stories (typical word count...3 to 7 thousand) for a possible "self-publishing." I have self-published 4 times before and lost money on 3 (the fourth, although moderately successful, did not come anywhere close to making up for the first 3 losses). I mention this to introduce a modicum of reality to a work prospect early on, so there can be no misunderstanding as related to the probable ultimate value of the program to me in terms of my ultimate cash reward. I will most likely again lose money on the project, but it is something I would like to do as a "parting shot." All that being said, I have limited funds, so the amount I will pay (per short story) is also limited. If your qualifications are adequate to the task, you will be requested to do one story on a trial basis (assuming we can agree on price per story at the outset). I work in "Word for Windows," "Photoshop" and Adobe Sytems "Indesign" programs. It is mandatory that you be intimate with Word for Windows and most desirable that you also be coversant with "Indesign," although, if you are computer savvy enough and malleable in your desires, I might consider breaking you in on Indesign. If you do not know what the programs Indesign and "Quark Express" are, then it may well be that you are not the right person for the job. I perfer to engage a person who is not on the verge of starvation at this time.