In case one might think I wasn't serious

 (tweaked to the nth degree)

One interesting note so far: I was looking for advice on the web (Get it? Grind it into the ground, bastin.) for how to best shoot these things and found that spider webs are generally referred to as cobwebs. I was always under the impression that cobwebs were the dust-covered remnants of an active web.

C'mon people! Dew droplets on a web! Give me a break.

Of course there is a lovely garden spider out in its namesake amongst the tomatoes. Want me to get a picture of it? Yes? Okay, tomorrow. I'm a whore for my eleven.

Actually, lest anyone think that I am an ungrateful sot, I have fond memories of garden spiders. Digressive association: Someday I will have to tell you about a favorite fishing hole.